He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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