for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
