but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
