Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
