Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
You work out of a Hotel?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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