he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
