and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
