Do you still have your period?
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
