i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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