Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
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yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
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I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain