I wanna bring you to show and tell
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
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And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
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Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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