Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?

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(860): Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out? http://tfl.nu/i8pt

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(614): View more from Ohio

I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook

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(614): I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook http://tfl.nu/v6tz

Replies (12) Good night (651) Bad night (3939)
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(613): View more from Ontario

The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.

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(613): The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches. http://tfl.nu/uy09

Replies (30) Good night (9967) Bad night (1131)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker

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(617): I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker http://tfl.nu/yzaq

Replies (25) Good night (6494) Bad night (980)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?

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(973): Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes? http://tfl.nu/t0sq

Replies (17) Good night (3510) Bad night (1926)
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(815): View more from Illinois

just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.

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(815): just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet. http://tfl.nu/j91e

Replies (7) Good night (3391) Bad night (1095)
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(941): View more from Florida

Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.

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(941): Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't. http://tfl.nu/qxou

Replies (11) Good night (2284) Bad night (920)
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(416): View more from Toronto

Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.

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(416): Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything. http://tfl.nu/up9n

Replies (58) Good night (955) Bad night (5363)
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(613): View more from Ontario

I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.

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(613): I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex. http://tfl.nu/n2c2

Replies (7) Good night (2818) Bad night (664)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?

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(304): well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out? http://tfl.nu/ogsn

Replies (9) Good night (1445) Bad night (688)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.

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(262): You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM. http://tfl.nu/legz

Replies (3) Good night (1467) Bad night (373)
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(662): View more from Mississippi

Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?

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(662): Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you? http://tfl.nu/ngi1

Replies (1) Good night (576) Bad night (305)
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(252): View more from North Carolina

It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.

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(252): It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless. http://tfl.nu/axbx

Replies (3) Good night (459) Bad night (262)
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(706): View more from Georgia

Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting

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(706): Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting http://tfl.nu/0ok9

Replies (2) Good night (678) Bad night (415)
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(252): View more from North Carolina

I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.

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(252): I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas. http://tfl.nu/0a74

Replies (3) Good night (546) Bad night (328)

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