k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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