Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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