I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
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