u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
