He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
