I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Boobs speak an international language.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
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