if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Randomize
