he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
