He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
