my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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