I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
