I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
