I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
