butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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