I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
