I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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