You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
