So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize