apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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