Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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