it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
