I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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