He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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