Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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