Got a toothbrush?
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
