He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
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you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
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Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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