honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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