I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
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it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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