Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
