i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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