Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
More tranny stories later!
barbara walters just said penis...
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
