the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
