u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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