bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
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