Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
