i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
