Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
