i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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