I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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