6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
We have started to decorate penises.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
