My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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