RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
