He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
