I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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