Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
They took my balls.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
there is glitter all over my balls
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
