Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
