p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
