you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize